Barack Breaks the News to Australians that Vegemite is Garbage Paste

Obama trashes Australia's national food during a visit from Aus' Prime Minister! I have been LOLing about this all yesterday morning. How rude yet how true?

Here is a clip from The Australian news website:

But as the atmosphere became more relaxed, one female student said she and her family wanted to know more about Vegemite, which Ms Gillard described as a black paste with a salty taste best spread lightly on toast.

Vegemite was, Mr Obama declared, "horrible". (Tell them like it is. Save the diplomacy for later)

"It's like a quasi-vegetable by-product paste that you smear all over your toast," Mr Obama told the students after one asked Mr Gillard (anyone else catch that Australia's main news publication referred to Julia Gillard as a Mr? God they hate her) to describe Vegemite.

"That sounds good, doesn't it?" Mr Obama. (lay on the sarcasm Mr. President)

After Ms Obama offered his view of Vegemite, talk turned to Australian Rules football, with the President revealing Ms Gillard had given him the present of a Sherrin football to mark her visit.

"She was kicking it it my office," Mr Obama said.

"Almost broke a bust of (Abraham) Lincoln."

ARJ

So I bought tickets to see Arj Barker to round out my Fringe Festival experience. Since I haven't blogged much about the Fringe, it is a festival equals dramas, comedies, stand up comedians, caberet shows and more everywhere in town for three weeks straight (separate from the previously mentioned Film Festival, Adelaide is throwing all the big rocks out at the moment). I will post more on this later.

Anywhos, Arj Barker is freakin' hilarious. In case you don't recognize him by name, he is Dave from the quirky Flight of the Conchords television show. Arj's stand-up was a laugh a minute, and it touched on some of my favorite topics such as ghosts, Australian "mate-ship," and the time warp known as the internets. I heard he wasn't so good last year, but apparently Arj has really stepped up his game - GO SEE HIM LIVE.

Two other notable items:

I just told "good on you" by a printing sales rep for calling him for a quote

This morning on my way to work, I think I stepped in quicksand - in my neighborhood. I was sinking fast in my heels. Luckily, quicksand is on my "survival situation thoughts rotation and I was able to quickly react. How bizarre - I mean first its gerbil-sized cockroaches and now quicksand.. Jumanji must have been set in Australia.

Wine Tasting in the Adelaide Hills

On Saturday, I was honored to be taken by the girls at work on a wine tasting tour of the Adelaide Hills. It just blew my mind that incredibly beautiful and well-established vineyards are sitting within 25 minutes of my house!

Most of the vineyards were small scale family operations which really adds to the charm. The cellar doors were decorated with rustic antiques, which I have captured in the photos you see here. We also went to little boutique cheese shops and a massive chocolate factory. See the chocolate and mint frogs below - for some reason, South Australians have a fixture on creating chocolate frogs... why frogs, one of the least slimiest, wartiest creatures to roam the earth? Still haven't gotten a firm answer on this.

We stopped at the "One Planet" cellar door which sells wine in Tetra Paks only. Tetra Paks are a green alternative to using wine bottles. One Planet's media release states that throughout the entire winemaking process greenhouse gas emissions are reduced by 80% and that a saving of approx 6-9 kilos per dozen dramatically reduces freight related carbon emissions! Does the wine still taste good? Indeed it does. I will admit, I will feel silly rocking up to a dinner party with an oversized adult juice box, but I will feel pretty good knowing the wine is of good quality (since it is layered with aluminum, plastic and cardboard, virtually no light gets in which lessens the affect light has on wine). See the pack below in the last photo or here.

Anyone want to come visit me yet? ;)

Heaven!

Typical flavor combination here but it is SO GOOD. If Cadburry makes it, us peons will shovel it.

Film Festival Wows

At work, a company that we are clients of offered me free tickets to see "Bill Cunningham:New York" as part of the Big Pond Film Festival. As soon as I read the words "fashion photographer" and "NY" I instantly RSVPed an overeager yes.

This movie exceeded my expectations by miles. It was such a touching story of an 80-year-old man named Bill Cunningham who has been a fashion photographer who snaps the actual residents of New York. He still pedals a push bike around NYC, just taking countless pictures of the trends he notices. He also keeps the hours of a young socialite as he does a weekly piece on fashion at events as well.

Bill is such a warm, genuine, upstanding artist who has always remained true to his craft and true to himself. His humble life of solitude juxtaposes the fast-paced social scene of which he is a fixture. The documentary was done beautifully, and it articulately showcased the spirit and soul of his work.

I really have been impressed with the Adelaide Film Festival and would encourage more to see it if it had many more showings. "Bill Cunningham: New York" opens in NYC March 16, and will play in select cities around the states soon. Watch the trailer here, I think it will entice you as well:

Zeitgeist Films :: Bill Cunningham New York :: the Trailer

Simon's Spin Hell

So I can't lie. There have been serious setbacks in the move here. And I by setbacks, I am solely speaking of the Wednesday 6:30pm spin instructor at the new gym I joined.

Now I am not complaining about spin class, I love spin class. I am complaining about the middle-aged, stumpy ball of douche-braggery that teaches this prime time slot.

I've been to Simon's class twice now, and have been sorely disappointed in myself. Especially the second time, after complaining to the robot redhead at the front desk about him and writing a formal complaint, she begged me to give him another chance as he "might be having an off day." Fool me twice, shame on me.

Simon arrives late and leaves the lights on, which is against all mercy rules of spin classes globally. No one wants to be seen heaving up the hill climbs like some Tibetan yak! Here is a rundown of the class in a scale of "time left" which was the way my mind was forced to work so that I could leave this freakin nightmare without looking like the rude or soft little bitch who couldn't hack it.

55 minutes to go - Simon walks in, 5 minutes late, carrying our "inspiration for the class"
54 minutes to go - Simon shows us this 24x12 inch framed photo of Lance Armstrong, which he has snuck into the background of. He claims he is talking to Lance in this photo, I think it looks like Lance is walking away. Why the HELL did he bring a framed photo of himself photobombing Lance Armstrong to our spin class?
53 minutes to go - Simon puts on Katy Perry's "California Girls" and gets on the bike
52 minutes to go - Simon needs to tie his shoes, class won't start yet
51 minutes to go -Simon gets off the bike to walk around the room and skeez on the women under the pretext of meeting everyone. He introduces himself to me. "Heeeey, I don't think I've met you yet.. I'm Simon" I tell him my name, unimpressed. "You are looking comfortable on that bike, how are you feeling?" he asks. "READY FOR CLASS TO START" I say through clenched teeth.
48 minutes to go -Simon gets on his bike, finally starts class. Replays Katy Perry's California Girls and sings along with Katy in the parts when she flirts with Snoop.
42 minutes to go -First song is over. Katy Perry comes on again. He will again repeat this song. Simon asks "Oh was that hard? I could have rode like that for an HOUR"
38 minutes to go -Simon asks how we are going. No one answers. He says "no one asks how I am doing. No one CARES how I am doing." A moment later: "Not even my CAT cares about how I am doing"
35 minutes to go -Simon yells my name in the microphone and asks "How you doing over there?! I can't see you" I stare at the floor and ignore him.
31 minutes to go - Brief recovery period. Simon puts his towel on his head and announces that he is a pharoah. He cries out "LET MY PEOPLE GO"
30 minutes to go - the guy on the bike in front of me is clearly fit enough to complete the class but is too unimpressed with Simon's methods to continue. He politely wipes his bike and peaces out.
26 minutes to go -Simon is screaming the lyrics of the song into the microphone. Like blood curdling screaming.
22 minutes to go - The woman next to me says "eff this" to herself and jumps ship.
20 minutes to go - "What gear is everyone on now? FYI I'm on 16" (an impossibly high gear to ride sitting down) Some hero yells out 17 and Simon gets sheepish.
15 minutes to go -Simon tells us we will begin a 6 minute hill climb. He then threatens to follow it with a second 6 minute hill climb. At this stage, we have only been doing 6 minute hill climbs.
10 minutes to go -Simon yells at me again by name. "HEY LAUREN HOW YA DOING NOW??" Again I blatantly ignore him.
9 minutes to go - Simon holds up one finger and asks the class "How many hands am I holding up?" He made the same joke in the last class. Again, no laughs.
8 minutes to go -Simon prematurely ends class to start cooldown exercise to Chris Isaac's "Wicked Games" which I thought was highly inappropriate sexy song for a well-lit sweaty stretch fest. I finally leave in a huff.

I drew an illustration on the bus this morning to enlighten you.

Big Pond Adelaide Film Festival

Yesterday I attended my first-ever film festival event - something I would never be exposed to in Tampa. I saw a compilation of short films called "Made in SA" which means made in the state where I live, South Australia.

I hate to be critical because I have no idea all that is involved in making a movie, but some of the movies were a bit confusing and weird. Yet some of the movies were concise, fun and compelling. Our obvious favorite was called "Toot Toot" which was sweet and fun. Here is the teaser:



The most odd would have to be the "Danger 5" webisode series which started out as a hilarious low budget Bond-esque parody about the assassination of Hitler. But then it just got too weird and too irreverent after following the short film "The Kiss" which featured a young girl watching her friend drown and then stuffed her mouth with panties to make her a corpse-buoy. Talking eagles bosses, white girls with painted black face and chimp villains just don't segue well.